I need some insight.
Recently my sweet Brianna has been anything but. She has been defiant, rude, and just flat out mean. She gets in trouble almost daily for hitting, pinching or otherwise hurting her sister, and although she has never hit Luke she has swung very near him with the intentions of getting a rise out of me. She demands things and throws her body around when she doesnt get it. Now I know you are all thinking "not sweet Brianna" but this is how she is at home right now and I am so confused. I believe we are balancing the change in dynamics quite well so my only guesses are 1. she is picking it up at school or 2. Its an age/phase thing. So here is where I need thoughts: Saturday we had a birthday party for a little girl that Brianna refers to as her "best friend". These two really get along and so the party was very important to Brianna however, while we were running some errands that day she once again went into her mood. Now maybe the fact that we were in public magnified my response but if you had seen her you would understand my frustration. After making several threats, giving her a spanking and "grounding" her from the TV I decided to tell her she could not go to the party. I almost regretted it the moment I said it, but I had to follow through. How else was I going to get through to her that the attitude had to stop?! So she missed the party. She was very upset at me and I feel like it did get through, but now I feel incredibly guilty.
I called her mom and let her know why we wouldnt be there, but when I spoke to her on the phone today she sounded kind of sad that we didnt make it and as I told her what was going on she really didnt seem to sound like she agreed with my choice. I know that she may not have wanted to input since it was my child but it did make me feel so guilty about having had to make that choice. Did I do the right thing? What other option did I have?
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2 comments:
I think I would have made the same choice. But, I often hear how "mean of a mommy" I am. Think about it this way - how would you have felt if she had a tantrum at the party? Do you think the mother of the birthday girl would have appreciated that? Would Bri's friends be emabrassed for her? I think you made a safe decision for everyone around. The true answer will come when you see that it did make a difference and that did learn her lesson. Time will tell.
You for sure had to follow through once you said it. Sometimes those BIG consequences that shock the child is what it takes to make them understand.
I think most mommies understand those tough choices you have to make as parents. And I know this mom in particualr would support your decision... even if she was sad Bri had to miss the party.
You are an excellent mom. And, I believe you did the right thing.
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