My Resolve is Waning

Ok so I am having some trouble convincing myself how wonderful it is that I pump every 3 hours. I feel like I am perminently attached to my pump and quite frankly I am sick of it. My goal was 6 months with 6 months frozen, but to be honest if I make it until tomorrow I feel like I will have accomplished something. Maybe its because my nipples feel like someone has carved craters into them, maybe its because I got a whopping 3 hours of sleep (and no it wasnt consecutive), maybe its because I am a quitter, but if it wasnt for the fact that formula is $20 a can for a 5 day supply...

My Addiction

Hello, my name is Anna and I am completely, utterly, and shamelessly addicted to Dr. Pepper. There I have said it. I can not go a day with out at least one and more than likely it will be closer to 3. I drank one for breakfast this morning. Hey, I dont drink coffee so I need something to kick me. Of course though what goes up must come down and let me tell you I have been crashing from these things. What do I do though?! I have tried replacing it with juice(all natural of course) and it is not the same. The whole thing is more than just caffine to me. It is a complete sensory experience. From the slight sting of the carbonation to cold wetness of it running down my throat. There is just nothing like it.

Wow it is scary that I can talk about a soft drink with such emotion...

Target Deals

Well here is one Kroger one too: Huggies wipes $2.50-$1.00q=$1.50


Target:

8oz Horizon Organic Milk-FREE with Target $1.00 Q
Airwick Mini-$.99 with $4MFQ $.99/2 if your store lets you stack with BOGO MFQ
Johnsons Buddies- FREE with MFQ $3/3
Ziplock 25 Counts (at the registers)-$.50 with $1/2 MFQ
Colgate-BTFREE with Target $1.00 Q stacked with $1.50 MFQ
Pampers Jumbo Pack Diapers and 232 Count Wipes- $10 with $3 Target Q and $1.50 Diaper and $.50 wipes coupons

School

So we are a few weeks into school and I am happy to report that I am really loving it. I have to be honest, when I was asked to do homeschool I was a bit nervous. I have never taught such a broad age range and with only seeing the kids two times a week I was really unsure of how things would go. Seriously though these kids are really great. Even after a day like today, which let me tell you was a bit of a rough one, I sit down at the end of the day and feel really good about what we have done. One thing I really love is that, while the parents send work for the kids to do during study hall, I get to do all the fun stuff with them: cooking, art, science projects and reading. We have our first field trip tomorrow to the 6th floor museum. It will be interesting to see how many I have show up.

We also have a very busy month so far. We have a birthday party every weekend for the next 3 weeks, then mom and I are considering doing a garage sale, which I so need to do. I am really ready to get my garage cleaned out, get my new deep freeze and get Luke's room finished. He wont be in it for a while yet but who doesnt like to see the rooms looking put together?

Ok I think I am done rambling for a bit.

OMG

That is all I can say to this. I cant imagine it would make their customers very happy. I know I wouldnt be eating it. Would they employ people to pump for their icecream?

VERMONT -- People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals sent a letter to Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield, cofounders of Ben & Jerry's Homemade Inc., urging them to replace cow's milk they use in their ice cream products with human breast milk, according to a statement recently released by a PETA spokeswoman.

"PETA's request comes in the wake of news reports that a Swiss restaurant owner will begin purchasing breast milk from nursing mothers and substituting breast milk for 75 percent of the cow's milk in the food he serves," the statement says.

PETA officials say a move to human breast milk would lessen the suffering of dairy cows and their babies on factory farms and benefit human health.

"The fact that human adults consume huge quantities of dairy products made from milk that was meant for a baby cow just doesn't make sense," says PETA Executive Vice President Tracy Reiman. "Everyone knows that 'the breast is best,' so Ben & Jerry's could do consumers and cows a big favor by making the switch to breast milk."

Ben and Jerry's released a statement, "We applaud PETA's novel approach to bringing attention to an issue, but we believe a mother's milk is best used for her child."

This is the whole article : http://www.nbc5i.com/foodnews/17539627/detail.html

Magic Time Machine

We took the girls to the Magic Time Machine last night. It was crowded as all get out and we actually got a pretty dull waitress but the girls knew no difference and had a blast! They have asked me several times today when we are going back. We totally splashed out and let them buy the smoking drinks and even got them their own meal. Something we rarely do. Lucky I had a $25gc to help with the cost.



Keira with here drink "green".



Daddy and Keira




Mommy and Bri

Pocahontas




Dont Worry its just Chocolate


Drinking the Icecream


After Drinking the Icecream

Kroger,Tom Thumb and Target

So since I did well at these three stores I thought I would post my loot for those too!

Target:

2 Tinkerbell Backpacks
1 Jansport Backpack
2 Hello Kitty Lunch Boxes
8 Ziplock Bags
2 Flipflops
3 Various Dollar Spot items

Total $23!

Kroger and Tom Thumb

11 Cans Pilsburry Cinnamon Rolls
8 Cans Chef Boyardee Spaghetti O's
12 Can Campbells Chicken Noodle Soup
8 Packs Betty Crocker Cookie Mix
4 Revlon Files
3 Chex Mix
4 V-8 Fusion Juice
3 Apple Cinnamon Cherios
4 Campbells Select Soups
3 Suave Shampoo
1.77lbs Nectarines
1.48lbs Peaches
.94lbs Plums
1 Snack Pack Pudding
6 Betty Crocker Potatoes
1 General Mills Cereal Bars
8 Kraft to Go Easy Mac
2 Safeway 4 Packs Fruit Coctail
1 Lg Pillsburry Crecent ROlls
1 Lg Pillsburry Cinnamon ROlls
1 Pillsburry Ready Bake Cookies
4 Bags Tysons Popcorn Chicken
2 6 Pack Sunmaid Raisins
2.76 Lbs Green Grapes

Shelf: $229.21
I paid: $72.44
68% Savings

Karl is off to Walmart to get our meat for the week:)

Walgreens Trip

So of course every now and then I have to brag about how I did at one of my stores so even though I didnt grocery shop this week here is how I did:

6 Skippy Peanut Butter
4 Glade Candles
4 Glade Carpet Freshner
6 Various Fructis Hairstyling Products(not shampoo haha!)
1 Listerine
1 Revlon Nail Polish
1 Crest Toothpaste
3 Trident Gums
2 Pez 6 count refils
1 Glade Carpet Refresher

Total Before Coupons: $68.xx
Total After Coupons: $48.xx
Used gift Card and paid: $11.xx oop
Getting $30.xx back in rebates

Fresh Air

Who doesnt love fresh air (besides my 15 year old brother who would rather be locked in a closet with his laptop than be outside)? There is nothing better than a clean, or in my case simi-clean, house, open windows and a fresh breeze. I love the summer but the heat here in Texas is stiffling and stuffy. So, I have put the baby in my Moby Wrap, popped open some windows, turned on the fans, and have been cleaning up for the last hour or so. It smells better and it feels better, fresher. I highly recommend it.

Pictures!

So as not to end my blogging for today on such a sad note we had photos done today and I am pretty pleased!

September 11th

We all remember this day. We all remember where we were when we heard about the Towers. We all remember how it felt to be invaded and to hear of all the lives lost, and those families who now had to bury their loved ones. Some never even got to do that. I remember it. As sad as I feel thinking about what happened that day what is really on my mind is not Sept 11 2001 but Sept 11 2005. You see, that was the Sunday we decided to go with my parents to the park on gross road. I was on the actual playground being silly with my Brianna when my mom walked up to me looking white as a ghost. Now to this day I still feel guilty about this, but my first thought was that something had happened to Keira. I yelled at her, "Whats wrong mom?! Keira...", "No, Keira is fine". Sweet relief. "Pip has committed suicide". If you have never been through this you can not begin to imagine what kind of hit that is. At that moment though all I can remember thinking is Thank God its not Keira. Is that selfish or what? Pip is Karl's dad. He was a wonderfully strange man. He invoked motherly feelings. You just wanted to pat him on the head and take care of him. He was emotional. He loved Karl. Idolized him even. It was very hard for both of them any time we had to say goodbye. Which brings me to the next thing, now logically Karl knows that he should not blame himself for this, but he always makes a phone call on Sunday to his family. That Sunday he decided to wait until after lunch to make it. He never got the chance. I remember him asking me in tears why his dad didnt give him the chance to say goodbye. I cant rationalize it. I mean really there is no explination that makes sense when someone takes their own life. He really had alot to live for. He had family, and two beautiful grandchildren. He never even got to see Keira. I look at Luke and think, man would he have been glowing to see this precious little boy. Why would he deny himself those chances? Why would he deny them the chance to meet him? So for those with the natural curiosity of what happened this is the best description I have; both Shirley and Peep were in the house, they ate dinner and things proceded as usual. Sometime in the early evening, the times escape me, Peep comes down stairs, gives Shirley his signature thumbs up, and walks upstairs, gets his gun and shoots himself through the mouth. Shirley runs upstairs to find him. I dont know how she survived the trama of that day. She even still lives in the same house.

Now, I want to end on a happy note and I will tell you that about 2 years prior to this Peep gave a profession of faith. Of course only Christ knows his heart, but it is our belief that he is in heaven and that we will meet him there one day. What comfort in a time like this!

Need to get this off my chest

You are not the first person to discover that Anna and banana rhyme. That means when you laugh like you just told a really good joke, you just look silly. NO, it is not Mulder as in Mulder and Scully. I never watched the X-files. Heck I was only 11 when it first aired. I wont laugh at that joke and once again you are not the first person to think of it.

Ahhh much better LOL

Oh the songs they sing

I love how kids have their own versions of songs. My Keira was singing her rendition of "Do Your Ears Hang Low". Let me me share:


Do your ears hang low?
Do they woggle to and flow?
Can you tie them in a knot?
Can you tie them in a bowl?
Can you throw them over your shoulder,
(I cant understand what she is trying to say for this line)
Do your ears hang low?

Afterward she asks me if she can sing it faster, but what she actually means is can she sing it louder LOL.

My oldest has somehow picked up this:

I can ride my bike with no handle bars, no handle bars, no handle bars

Not sure where that came from :S

Realizations

Well it has hit me, I am never going to have any more children. It is this strange mixture of peace and sadness. I look at my perfect family and I know we are complete. I know that we are where we need to be in terms of being able to provide financially as well as emotionally. Not that we would not have, or by God's devine intervention, would welcome a fourth child, but seeing as that is highly unlikely I have had to face the end of my child bearing days. It is not even that I want another baby, but perhaps the feeling of knowing that I am growing a little being inside of me, feeling kicks and hicups. It's almost sureal. I also feel a bit guilty. Most of you know that Karl and I had problems conceiving Brianna. Two and a half years, multiple tests and being told that we would not be able to concieve "naturally" did not stop God from doing the impossible. While my story may sound and even feel amazing to me dealing with infertility has opened my eyes to another world and I cant help but feel guilty for stopping my body from doing its "purpose" when we struggled and others struggle to have the miracle(s) that seem to now come so easily to us now. I also think of my perfect birth experience being ripped from me. I have no more chances to get it right I think it also has brought a touch of reality to me on the fact that my babes are growing up fast. Too fast. The years seem to fly at the moment and sometimes I struggle to remember the girls baby days. Lastly, I think of my little Jamie. I look at Luke and think that had things gone the way they were meant to last time that I would be looking at Jamie instead of Luke. I mourn for my precious little one, and then think at the same time that I can not imagine not having my Luke here.

Perhaps it is just a touch of post partum depression or sleep deprivation, but at the moment my thoughts seem scattered and incoherent.

I need a hug

To add to the last few days...

I usually set up all doctors apts for first thing in the morning. I find that I am usually in and out much faster this way. So as usual I show up for my pp checkup at 9:30am. I sit and sit and sit. Finally around 10:30 I ask if I am up soon. Uh, your apt is at 11:15. What the heck?! I have NEVER scheduled an apt for that late. I would rather have gone the next day. Well, needless to say, my house is too far to go home and come back so we sat some more. Finally around 11:40am I am called back. The apt lasted 5 minutes. I get downstairs to my car and wow great I have a parking ticket to boot. My meter had run out. I put 3 hours on it and still ran out of time. Perfect. Grant it the ticket is only $20 but do you know what $20 can buy? By this point I am so tired and frustrated that I just cried. Bless my husband for knowing that now was not the time to tease. He just told me it was not a big deal. Im glad he feels that way cos it still totally ticks me off.