In a moment

Why is it that we tend to only focus on how good we have it and how each and every moment is a gift from God when we lose someone or hear of a tragic death? Yesterday evening my cousin and her 3 year old daughter were on their way to get food with a friend and were killed in a car accident when a car struck the rear and then another struck the passenger side. It was over in an instant. As these things tend to do it has made me think of whether I am living each moment in the complete and utter joy that it should be. Not that every moment will be a happy moment but each moment should definitely be a joyful one, right? Yet I fail so often. I take my kids, my husband, my friends, everything down to my house for granted so often. As if I know they will always be here. I have to admit that I am having a hard time processing all of this. I have been fortunate enough to have not experienced any other close family members deaths, other than my very old and ailing great-grandmother whose death was a relief to her. But, this, this is different. My cousin was 10 days older than me. I am 26. Her daughter was 3. This wasn't an old woman suffering from Altzheimers. This was a young mom of 4 and her baby girl. Now, I find peace in knowing they are in the Father's arms, and I know that He uses everything for His good, but I can not help but wonder how any good is going to come of this. Maybe that isn't for me to question, but at the moment I feel the need to try to rationalize, something that I just can't rationalize. I know it's completly rediculous. I know what I should be feeling, thinking and saying, but I am not sure I really feel those things yet.

Anyways I am not een sure this post makes sense.