Everything exploded for me today. Well really last night. Sometime during the night I started having an anxiety attack. It wasnt about anything in particular. I dont know what triggered it. My best guess is stress. Selling the house, work, various extra curricular activities, being a wife, a mom, a teacher to my own kids. I have no down time except for the once a month meetings with my book club and let me tell you 2 hours a month is just not cutting it. I also think I might still be having a bit of PTS from my cousins death. I dont feel emotional over it but I have been having alot and I mean ALOT of dreams about her. They range from seeing her portrayed as a baby who cant breathe to a living version of her after death. I know weird but I can only assume its my mind still trying to comprehend and cope with it all. Today though I am seriously considering seeing a doctor. I didnt used to get them that often but they seem to be getting more frequent and more intense. My friend thinks I am doing too much. Maybe I am. At this point I am almost willing to consider dropping something. I dont feel like I have that much going on until I sit down and think about it. I like to be busy but I dont know how much longer this is going to last.
Good thing is that my DH has started offering to take Brianna to gymnastics and Julie is talking about renting a place here in Forney for dance so I wont have to drive far. I still have time to back out of Girl Scouts since I havent officially started anything. And we are taking the next few weeks off of school to give me some time to recover.
I looked up the symptoms to anxiety attacks and I could have written word for word how it says you feel. I never think people understand when I tell them I feel like I am walking around in a dream but that was on the symptoms list! As school was letting out today I was standing there and everything was so weird. All I could hear was this crowd of voices but I couldnt focus on any of them. I know I sound crazy. There was only one symptom on the list that I didnt feel-trouble breathing, but I replace it with uncontrollable crying.
Surge of overwhelming panic
Feeling of losing control or going crazy
Heart palpitations or chest pain
Feeling like you’re going to pass out
Hot flashes or chills
Trembling or shaking
Nausea or stomach cramps
Feeling detached or unreal
Well there you go I have poured out my emotions for the day LOL
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3 comments:
I will keep you in my prayers. I'm here for you anytime, even in the middle of the night.
I know exactly how you feel and I promise you are lucky you're not feeling the heavy breathing right now. It's a one step at a time process, but I would consider very heavily talking to a Dr. I'm here if you need to talk, text or chat. I never sleep so you won't be bothering me. LOL!!! Hang in there. At least your identifying it early on:)
This is scary...we can get ourselves so overworked so quickly!! Take care of yourself...I think, too, sometimes we get so busy that we forget that God wants us to seek His rest and His peace daily! Seek out His peace this week...peace that passes all understanding! Saying a prayer for you...
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