You love me, you love me, you love me. This is a great family. Today we sing a happy beautiful song, so we have a nice time with my family. Sing with me, hush now baby, you are my really favorite mommy. You just love me, my mommy and daddy. Oh you love me. I have a nice happy song with my mommy, and you play with me. A happy song is pretty. We have alot of dreams. You are my only favorite mommy. Play with me. Play with me. Have a nice pretty day. We have a nice good family good bye.
Of course its much better when she sings it.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Packing
Well we are moving closer to move out. So packing has become a priority. Packing and purging. What I dont understand though, is how I have 40 boxes packed and yet my house remains a disaster area? So unfair.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Bible Study
While I am sitting in my unusually quiet house with my sick daughter laying in bed, I decided I should revive my blog. I know I keep saying this. Things are just incredibly busy and well, life gets in the way. You will find out that when I do something I do it 110% and then suddenly I crash from burn out. But I usually come back to it with a little less fervor and it helps me maintain a steady pace rather than going at everything full force and getting bored with it. Anyways onto my blog.
For several months I have been flip flopping back and forth between reading the Bible, doing various group and private Bible studies, and embarrasingly not reading the Bible at all. Not that I dont get constant guilt from it, but I was just feeling like I was reading the same thing over and over and not gleening anything new from it. Uh oh, is that not the first sign something isnt right? It probably doesnt help that we have constantly had to miss church for one reason or another. I would say at the moment if we are going ever other week we are lucky. For the most part it isnt that we dont feel like going its just one kid being sick, or Karl has to work, or this or that. Excusses. At any rate, I have been trying to remind myself that I really need to figure out something that will help me study, no dig, really dig into the Word. I think for the first time it has really started to bother me that I can tell you all the stuff on the surface: Thou shalt not kill, love your neighbor, and so on, but I dont know that I could get into many really deep conversations and be able to hold on to myself. And not knowing brings doubt, and the ability for Satan to sneak in and use that doubt. Of course I dont want that. So yesterday, with all three kids in tow, I made my way to Mardel (this was before my DD started puking) and we made our way to the study section. Now seriously I have a stack of books a mile high that are studies on this and that, but the questions in them always left me dreading going back because they required more insight than I thought I had! So I would toss them aside and just give up. I didnt go into the store really thinking about what I was getting. Just knowing that I needed something that would teach me how to really think and dig into God's word. I hadn't even really prayed about what the Lord would have me get, but as I walk to the study section, there on the bench is a book. "How to study the Bible" By Kay Author (who I love by the way). Ok so I dont know if it was placed there by God, but there has to be something to it. I never found the place that the book came from so I never would have found it on my own, and having only had it one day I dont know how the study is going to go but after finding it, I just have this "knowing" that something great is going to come out of it. And most of all I just love that He put it right there in front of my face when I really needed it. Awesome.
For several months I have been flip flopping back and forth between reading the Bible, doing various group and private Bible studies, and embarrasingly not reading the Bible at all. Not that I dont get constant guilt from it, but I was just feeling like I was reading the same thing over and over and not gleening anything new from it. Uh oh, is that not the first sign something isnt right? It probably doesnt help that we have constantly had to miss church for one reason or another. I would say at the moment if we are going ever other week we are lucky. For the most part it isnt that we dont feel like going its just one kid being sick, or Karl has to work, or this or that. Excusses. At any rate, I have been trying to remind myself that I really need to figure out something that will help me study, no dig, really dig into the Word. I think for the first time it has really started to bother me that I can tell you all the stuff on the surface: Thou shalt not kill, love your neighbor, and so on, but I dont know that I could get into many really deep conversations and be able to hold on to myself. And not knowing brings doubt, and the ability for Satan to sneak in and use that doubt. Of course I dont want that. So yesterday, with all three kids in tow, I made my way to Mardel (this was before my DD started puking) and we made our way to the study section. Now seriously I have a stack of books a mile high that are studies on this and that, but the questions in them always left me dreading going back because they required more insight than I thought I had! So I would toss them aside and just give up. I didnt go into the store really thinking about what I was getting. Just knowing that I needed something that would teach me how to really think and dig into God's word. I hadn't even really prayed about what the Lord would have me get, but as I walk to the study section, there on the bench is a book. "How to study the Bible" By Kay Author (who I love by the way). Ok so I dont know if it was placed there by God, but there has to be something to it. I never found the place that the book came from so I never would have found it on my own, and having only had it one day I dont know how the study is going to go but after finding it, I just have this "knowing" that something great is going to come out of it. And most of all I just love that He put it right there in front of my face when I really needed it. Awesome.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Anxiety and Stress
Everything exploded for me today. Well really last night. Sometime during the night I started having an anxiety attack. It wasnt about anything in particular. I dont know what triggered it. My best guess is stress. Selling the house, work, various extra curricular activities, being a wife, a mom, a teacher to my own kids. I have no down time except for the once a month meetings with my book club and let me tell you 2 hours a month is just not cutting it. I also think I might still be having a bit of PTS from my cousins death. I dont feel emotional over it but I have been having alot and I mean ALOT of dreams about her. They range from seeing her portrayed as a baby who cant breathe to a living version of her after death. I know weird but I can only assume its my mind still trying to comprehend and cope with it all. Today though I am seriously considering seeing a doctor. I didnt used to get them that often but they seem to be getting more frequent and more intense. My friend thinks I am doing too much. Maybe I am. At this point I am almost willing to consider dropping something. I dont feel like I have that much going on until I sit down and think about it. I like to be busy but I dont know how much longer this is going to last.
Good thing is that my DH has started offering to take Brianna to gymnastics and Julie is talking about renting a place here in Forney for dance so I wont have to drive far. I still have time to back out of Girl Scouts since I havent officially started anything. And we are taking the next few weeks off of school to give me some time to recover.
I looked up the symptoms to anxiety attacks and I could have written word for word how it says you feel. I never think people understand when I tell them I feel like I am walking around in a dream but that was on the symptoms list! As school was letting out today I was standing there and everything was so weird. All I could hear was this crowd of voices but I couldnt focus on any of them. I know I sound crazy. There was only one symptom on the list that I didnt feel-trouble breathing, but I replace it with uncontrollable crying.
Surge of overwhelming panic
Feeling of losing control or going crazy
Heart palpitations or chest pain
Feeling like you’re going to pass out
Hot flashes or chills
Trembling or shaking
Nausea or stomach cramps
Feeling detached or unreal
Well there you go I have poured out my emotions for the day LOL
Good thing is that my DH has started offering to take Brianna to gymnastics and Julie is talking about renting a place here in Forney for dance so I wont have to drive far. I still have time to back out of Girl Scouts since I havent officially started anything. And we are taking the next few weeks off of school to give me some time to recover.
I looked up the symptoms to anxiety attacks and I could have written word for word how it says you feel. I never think people understand when I tell them I feel like I am walking around in a dream but that was on the symptoms list! As school was letting out today I was standing there and everything was so weird. All I could hear was this crowd of voices but I couldnt focus on any of them. I know I sound crazy. There was only one symptom on the list that I didnt feel-trouble breathing, but I replace it with uncontrollable crying.
Surge of overwhelming panic
Feeling of losing control or going crazy
Heart palpitations or chest pain
Feeling like you’re going to pass out
Hot flashes or chills
Trembling or shaking
Nausea or stomach cramps
Feeling detached or unreal
Well there you go I have poured out my emotions for the day LOL
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Ballet Recital
My two beautiful little girls had their first ballet recital the other night. It was too dang cute! It almost bothers me how grown up they are looking. Especially my Brianna. She has just changed so much over the last few months and has become quite a little personality! I am blessed beyond words.
Ok my blog wont upload pictures so will do that when DH gets home!
Ok my blog wont upload pictures so will do that when DH gets home!
Monday, May 18, 2009
Worst Blogger Ever?
Am I like the worst blogger or what? Things have just been so busy here that I haven't had the energy to write it all down.
We are currently at the end of negotiations with a buyer for our house. We have gone back and forth so many times on if we were just fed up or if we really wanted the new house enough to bother with all the legalities, but we seem to have settled on an offer that is acceptable. Just waiting for the buyers to sign the papers and be done with it! We are looking at a closing date of Aug 28th on the new house so we are renting back this house from the buyers. It will keep us from having to move twice. Cant tell how ready I am just to get on with it, no matter what the answer is.
I will update again after I know what they say.
We are currently at the end of negotiations with a buyer for our house. We have gone back and forth so many times on if we were just fed up or if we really wanted the new house enough to bother with all the legalities, but we seem to have settled on an offer that is acceptable. Just waiting for the buyers to sign the papers and be done with it! We are looking at a closing date of Aug 28th on the new house so we are renting back this house from the buyers. It will keep us from having to move twice. Cant tell how ready I am just to get on with it, no matter what the answer is.
I will update again after I know what they say.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Why Lie?
This is driving me nuts. Why do people tell lies like this?
Facebook has put me in touch with several old friends from school. Some are even just around the corner from me! Others have family here in Forney. Some of these were girls that I hung out with on a daily basis. So, you contact me and tell me how great it would be to get together and talk again, and then when I get back to you about it saying yes how great that would be, I never hear from you again. If it was just once or twice that this had happened I would say, sure life gets in the way, but hey, I have 3 kids, a house, a job, I homeschool. We have gymnastics, girl scouts and many other activities. I know what a busy life looks like and if I didn't want to make the time to meet you I would have said so. Can't you afford the same courtesy? Instead of making that offer hoping I will say that I can't, just dont bring it up! I have lived 10+ years without seeing you I think I will make it if we can't meet up now.
Facebook has put me in touch with several old friends from school. Some are even just around the corner from me! Others have family here in Forney. Some of these were girls that I hung out with on a daily basis. So, you contact me and tell me how great it would be to get together and talk again, and then when I get back to you about it saying yes how great that would be, I never hear from you again. If it was just once or twice that this had happened I would say, sure life gets in the way, but hey, I have 3 kids, a house, a job, I homeschool. We have gymnastics, girl scouts and many other activities. I know what a busy life looks like and if I didn't want to make the time to meet you I would have said so. Can't you afford the same courtesy? Instead of making that offer hoping I will say that I can't, just dont bring it up! I have lived 10+ years without seeing you I think I will make it if we can't meet up now.
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